lessanxiousWhat Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. It happens when someone manipulates you into questioning your memory, your perception, or your sanity.
One of the confusing factors is that anything someone says to gaslight another person, could possibly be an unintentional mistake on their part. Gaslighting is an intentional method of mental abuse.
It’s not just lying.
It’s saying things like:
- “You always make things up.” (when they know you didn’t make it up)
- “I was just kidding! Can’t you take a joke?” (passive-aggressive and they weren’t joking)
- “You’re imagining things again.” (they know you weren’t imagining it and you were stating facts)
- “You’re remembering it wrong, just like always.” (when they know for sure your memory is accurate)
If you don’t realize what is going on, over time, you stop trusting yourself—and start trusting them to tell you what’s real.
And that’s the goal.
Lying vs. Gaslighting: What’s the Difference?
Let’s be clear:
Lying is about avoiding blame or consequences.
Gaslighting is about controlling the other person’s sense of reality.
Here’s how they differ:
| Lying | Gaslighting |
|---|---|
| Hides the truth | Makes you doubt the truth |
| Avoids blame | Rewrites your reality |
| Says: “I didn’t do it” | Says: “You’re crazy if you think that” |
One bends the facts. The other bends you.
What Gaslighting Sounds Like
Real examples from everyday life:
- “That never happened.”
- “You’re overreacting.”
- “You’re too emotional.”
- “Everyone else thinks I’m great—you’re the only one with a problem.”
- “You’re remembering it wrong again.”
Every time you try to explain how you feel, the conversation turns against you.
That’s not miscommunication. That’s manipulation.
What It Feels Like
If you’re being gaslit, you might:
- Constantly second-guess yourself
- Feel confused or anxious for no clear reason
- Apologize all the time—even when you didn’t do anything wrong
- Feel like you’re “losing it”
- Miss the version of you who used to be more confident
This isn’t just emotional stress. It’s psychological conditioning.
Why It Works (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)
Gaslighting works best on good, self-aware people.
People who:
- Want to understand
- Take responsibility
- Try to see both sides
- Don’t want to hurt anyone
In short—people like you.
It’s not your fault you didn’t catch it sooner. You weren’t being naïve. You were being kind.
They used that against you.
How to Start Healing
Healing starts by reconnecting with your own truth.
Here are simple, powerful ways to begin:
✅ Write things down—document your experiences
✅ Talk to someone who will believe you without question
✅ Repeat this to yourself: “If it felt off, it was off”
✅ Work with a therapist or hypnotherapist trained in emotional abuse patterns
One thing to keep in mind is that even if you have a written account or video evidence that shows clearly what they did and what transpired, it is not unusual for them to keep denying, double down or even create drama to distract from the conversation.
You don’t need to prove anything to deserve peace.
If You’re Still In It
If you’re still unsure or still in the relationship—don’t rush.
Getting out isn’t always quick. But getting clear is where it begins.
Start here:
- Listen to your gut again
- Track how often your feelings are dismissed
- Notice if your self-doubt only shows up around this person
You’ll know when you’re ready to take your next step. And when you are—it’s yours to take.
Final Words: You’re Not Broken. You’re Being Broken Down.
But you can rebuild.
Not by hardening.
By healing.
By listening to that inner voice that still whispers: “This isn’t okay.”
That voice is your truth.
And it’s time to trust it again.
Ready to Start Rebuilding Trust With Yourself?
If this post made you feel seen, you don’t have to walk this road alone.
I help people reconnect with their inner voice and rewire the patterns that kept them stuck in relationships like this.
Learn more about how hypnotherapy can help you rebuild your sense of self.
👉 Book a free consult https://lessanxious.com/schedule-a-call/
👉 Learn about my private podcast: “Less Anxious Life” https://app.hiro.fm/channel/less-anxious-life-podcast
